The Hoover Dam & The Chicken

On our Epic Journey, as I have now come to call it, we had to make our way from Las Vegas to Phoenix, where my parents are staying for the winter. The Hoover Dam happens to be right off of the major highway that takes you there, so of course, knowing that we leave no tourist spot unexplored, we had to stop and take the kids.

The Hoover Dam is beyond beautiful.

Which is hard to appreciate when your eyes are closed. I’d know. I tried to view the entire thing through closed eyelids but soon found out that it didn’t quite work that way. Plus, I could walk right over the edge and plummet to a horrifying death. Just sayin’.

The chicken, of course, is me. I want to clear this up right away, there are no chickens at the famous Hoover Dam, excepting the moment when I visited with the kids. OH EM GEE. I’m so scared of heights people.

Visiting the Hoover Dam made me super mom, I’m just saying. Fake it so your kids don’t know you are terrified.

The kids wouldn’t stop running around and exploring.

“Water fountains! ON A DAM!!! What will they think of next!”

I would like to ask that next time you build a dam and turn it into a tourist attraction, you put the women’s washrooms on the CLOSEST side to the parking lot.

A man totally designed this, obviously, as women have to literally walk to the other side of the dam to use the ladies room.

Road trip bladder + scared of heights = long walk of terror to the washrooms.

The Hoover Dam is a magnificent place to visit and if you are travelling by or staying in Vegas, you should see it at least once, even if you are afraid of heights like me.

It’s not that bad. You can cringe over to the side away from the edge and weep silently.

Or take it LIKE A BOSS and take pictures with your kids. That’s my kids favorite saying right now.

I’m totally boss. Hey, wasn’t that already a saying? Phht. These kids think they invented everything.

I feel old.

The very best part (insert dripping sarcasm here) was realizing that once you are done at the Hoover Dam, that this bridge isn’t just for looks. You have to get into your truck and drive over it on the way to Phoenix.

Words cannot describe people. It’s almost better not knowing what you are driving over.

You are probably wondering how on earth I took pictures, aren’t you? It’s a long process.

First, I have to make sure no one is around me. Seriously. I cannot have people around me when I am at the edge of something high. Not Mike, the kids, no one. This comes from those jackholes in your younger years who thought it was funny to scare the Bejesus out of you by coming up behind you and shaking your shoulders to scare you. Now, I seriously get shivers up my spine of terror if someone is near me when I am somewhere high.

Then, when no one is around me I literally have to shuffle slowly to the edge. The above picture had me leaning on the actual ledge at the dam, taking the picture.

Once I am steady and behind my lens, it’s ok. But if you could see me…..oh, you’d laugh. I look ridiculous.

BUT I got my pictures.

However, my panic didn’t really go unnoticed. My children apparently think it’s hilarious and are eager to share it with their teachers. My daughter wrote this in her journal today :

So Super Mom took her kids to the Hoover Dam and took her pictures LIKE A BOSS and I don’t ever, ever have to repeat that experience again.

However, the Grand Canyon is on their travel wish list now.

Erp.

Love, Karlynn