Magpie’s Garden 2014 – Holly Homesteader. Chickenbees. And The End.

I’m going to come straight out and admit it; holy Dinah, I am done with my garden. D-O-N-E.

I could wax poetic about how ah-mazing it is to grow your own vegetables all summer long and oh my goodness, my children ate pesticide free, straight from my yard vegetables all summer long and now it’s time for the fall bounty and oh my, pumpkin pies are on the way. I didn’t even have to take a car/bus/bike/walk to the farmers market , I grew all my own and what I didn’t grow came from second hand stores! Next year I’ll grow the newest Chickenbee hybrid – lays eggs, fertilizes AND pollinates your hipster backyard garden all at the same time!

Alas, I would never be mistaken for a hipster. Like, ever.

Here’s the thing; I only wish I could be Holly Homesteader for you guys, I really do. I love the ideas of a millions jams, preserves and more “put up” for the winter. It would be nice to make my own wines, my own hand lotion and soaps, and show you pictures of my children petting their backyard goats and chasing my Heritage Breed poultry while I paint the cutest little chicken coop you’ve ever seen.

I sadly will never be a Holly Homesteader either.

Dudes, this was a big garden and the weeding alone – which I sucked at, by the way- was a crazy amount of work.

Yes, I totally made fun of people who shone sunshine out of their er, garden boots, all summer long. Heck, I am one of them, for a couple of months. I enjoy my garden to the extent that I wake up ready to water it while having my morning tea and my soul literally craves the contact with dirt and plants.

And then September hits.

Garden, you can hit the road.

Tomatoes? I love you.  You love me. You can keep on growing forever.

Cucumbers, you can stop growing. We’re over you.

Butternut squash (my first one ever!) you can ripen the heck up.

Red runner beans?

Beat it.

Sugar pumpkins?

Get ripe.

Monstrous Giant pumpkins that are the weirdest things I have grown squash wise?

You’re cool. We’re cool. You can stay there until Halloween.

Especially you.

I think I like these Giant Atlantic Pumpkins. While you aren’t as gigantic as you can be, I think you will rock Halloween.

Cantaloupe?

Listen, you little bugger. I don’t care that you are the size of a baseball, there are two of you, I’ve never gotten this far before EVER with growing musk melon and you better ripen.

We. Want. To Eat. You.

I am, however, turning into Holly Homeschooler this fall. I can only wear so many hats before they start to fall off and Greta Gardener is done for the year. She’s turning in her garden gloves for pencils, books and learnin’. I still have potatoes, carrots, beets and beans that won’t stop. I’m ok with that, but not sure when I’ll find the time to harvest them all. It will work out, I am sure.

It was a beautiful garden, but I’m pooped. I’m ever so glad that we are just going to eat what we grew and there’s no canning involved this fall.

So, what have we learned this post?

I will never be a Holly Homesteader.

I secretly long to be a hipster. I have no cred and will never be a hipster.

I am turning into Holly Homeschooler.

Turning into Holly Homeschooler also means that I am turning into Winnifred WineDrinker.

I completely lack imagination when coming up with characters names. Never ask me to write a novel.

I want to create chickenbees.

The. End.

Karlynn